So This Is Love! - Part 2 The Perfect vs The Real

Ok, so where were we. Oh, yes the perfect man. For those of you that just tuned in, yesterday I was talking about a movie that I just watched called The Perfect Man. It stars Hilary Duff, Heather Locklear, and Chris Noth. The story is a heartwarming comedy. It is the story about mothers, daughters and the lengths people will go sometimes for love. So if you missed reading yesterday’s post you may want to go back and read it first.

Today I’m on my second thought about the movie. It came because of the title of the movie “The Perfect Man”. What is the perfect man or for that fact the perfect woman? Well if all I have to do is answer this simple question my post today will be very short. The answer is there is no such thing as a perfect woman and the only perfect man was Jesus Christ. OK I’m all done. Well not really.

If we are Christians and we are looking for the perfect man, what we are really looking for is a “Real Man”. By that term what I mean is a "Real Man" of faith. Let me put it this way. What is the difference between a real twenty dollar bill and a counterfeit twenty dollar bill? They may look the same, but one has value and the other does not. What you are looking for is the real thing. There are those that say they are saved and believe in Jesus Christ as their savior, but the way they live shows that their words have no value. A “Real Man” (and “Real Woman” too) live their faith every day. You have no doubt about their faith and their beliefs, because they live to follow God’s will for their lives, glorifying Him, and honoring Him each and every day.

So where can we find some guidelines to help us judge if a man is a “Real Man” or if a woman is a “Real woman” of faith. The Bible is always the best place for that.

Colossians 3:1-4 says, “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.” “Real Men” and “Real Women” put their faith first in their lives.

Colossians 3:5-11 says, “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.” These are things that you should keep an eye out for. “Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Before you were saved you might have had no problems with these things, but now that you are saved if you are a “Real Man” or a “Real Woman” of faith, you should see these things as unacceptable. Before you were saved cussing and swearing, using bad language might have been a habit of yours, but now that you are saved this is something you should not do and you should not accept as OK either. Understand that the excuse, “Well other people do it.” doesn’t cut it with God. You are sinning and not honoring Him if you are doing these things. ”Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.” Oh, does this hit home when you see so many relationships going down the tubes because one or both people are not being honest with each other or God. Ladies and gentlemen you can’t be a player and be a Christian too! “Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.” It’s all or nothing with God. You have walk the walk, as well as talk the talk.

Colossians 3:12-14 says, “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Now there are five character traits you should be looking for in a “Real Man” or “Real Woman”. “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” A “Real Man” and “Real Woman” make every effort to work things out. They don’t carry grudges and they don’t keep reminding you of your errors once they are suppose to be forgiven. We may have disagreements and argue with others. Remember, none of us are perfect. But we make peace, forgive, and move on in a way that honors God. “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” Above all we love each other the way God tells us to.

Colossians 3:15-17 says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” You can see the peace and joy when it lives in someone’s heart. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” This is just telling you again that a “Real Man” and a “Real Woman” live their faith.

There is another place in the Bible that you can look too. Ephesians 5:1-2 says, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” We should us Christ as a model for our lives.
Ephesians 5:3-7 says, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” You can’t be a “Real Man” or “Real Woman” if you have these impure things in your life. “For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.” Clearer words were never said. “Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God's wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.” This is specifically talking to those that live their lives as counterfeit Christians.

Ephesians 5:8-14 says, “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord.” Children of the light are the “Real Men” and “Real Women” of faith. “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them.” It not only tells you have nothing to do with counterfeit Christians, it tells you to call them out for who they really are. “For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for it is light that makes everything visible.” When you take a close look at people using these Bible guidelines, it becomes very clear how “Real Men” and “Real Women” of faith should be living their lives. “’This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.’"

Ephesians 5:15-21 says, “Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is." If you know the scripture and you know the Lord’s will for your life you can’t be fooled or sucked in by the worldly evil that is around us. “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.” You don’t need to look for escapes or things to make you artificially happy if you are filled with the Spirit. An artificial “high” always come with a price too. “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Again this is just telling you if you say you believe it you live it.

Now back to the “Real Man”. Proverbs 18:22 tells us, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” Funny, it does not say that the other way around. A woman is God’s special gift to a man and should be treated as such. I personally think it is the man's responsibility to make sure he is prepared faithfully to recognize the value of the gift God is prepared to give him. He must be ready to take care of it. He must be prepared to recognize the value of it, respect it, cherish it, and be faithful to it alone at all times. It should be cherished above all else except God. He should be ready to step up to the plate and be the Godly head of His faithful marriage. This does not mean being a dictator or a bully. It means that he is a partner to his wife that leads by modeling and by setting the example in their marriage. No faithful woman would have any trouble with a man being in charge of the household if the man truly loved and cherished his wife as the Bible tells him to. It says that a man should love his wife as Jesus loves the church. Men are you prepared faithfully to give a woman that much real love? Men are you "Real Men" of faith?

Ephesians 5:25-33 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body." As you can see God has a plan for us. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." "This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Ok women see that last line you aren’t off the hook. I personally think it is the woman's responsibility to make sure she is prepared faithfully to be a gift that has true faithful value to a man. A woman that lives her life in faith putting God first is something that is priceless above all other worldly treasures. She should be ready to submit herself to him. No that does not mean she is just his maid or slave. It means she is ready to be his partner by faith fully. To commit herself only unto him, putting him first above all else except God. To love him and give to him freely and unselfishly. No faithful man would have any trouble giving freely to his wife and unselfishly cherishing a woman that truly loved, respected, and honored her husband as the Bible tells her to. It is how we prepare ourselves faithfully that will show others if we are a priceless gem, a fake imitation, or a gag gift. Women are you prepared faithfully to give a man this much real love? Women are you "Real Women" of faith?

Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

With first marriage success at only about 50% these days and remarriage success rates even lower it is telling us that we have not prepared ourselves to be "Real Men" and "Real Women" first. We must build our relationship with God first before we can look at building a relationship with anyone else.

Have you ever been asked what are you looking for in a wife or husband? We looked at this subject once in a Bible study class I was in. I wrote two poems to my future husband.

Eyes of Love

Eyes are the window to the soul
Showing emotions that we feel
I’m looking for the eyes of love
Telling me now that this is real

More precious than any diamond
They will sparkle with honesty
Twinkling like the stars above
Showing true love for only me

I’m looking for the eyes of love
Sparking with heat from passion’s fire
Mesmerizing me with their glow
Until I tremble with desire

I’m looking for the eyes of love
Eyes with tears to share our sorrows
Eyes that smile as they look ahead
To the joy of our tomorrows

I’m looking for the eyes of love
Respect that mirrors compassion’s care
That looks for strength from God above
Closing each day in humble prayer

I’ve not yet found the eyes of love
That by faith will always be true
Still I’m hoping that my searching
May now finally end with you

FaithfulToOne© 1998

Matthew 6:22-23
22 The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. 23 But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!


Seeds

Have patience my love we’ve planted our seeds
Faith’s fruitful harvest someday we’ll both see
Our devoted hearts He has heard in prayer
The course He now steers is to our destiny

Challenges and trials that keep us apart
Still like a locked door we just can’t get through
But its God’s will in the seeds we’ve planted
So it’s by His time I must wait for you

O precious Lord Jesus Christ our Savior
We seek your blessings and pray for new life
That faithfully we walk God’s lighted path
Someday soon as faithful husband and wife

Be vigilant my love with humble prayer
Joyful in hope may God’s words be your guide
Take comfort in prayer I am with you now
Pray someday soon I can stand by your side

FaithfulToOne © 2006

Romans 12:12
12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.