Finding Solutions To Our Sins

It always amazes me how foolish people can be. Oh, I count myself included. I woke up this morning with a headache. After I took a couple of allergy pills, let the dogs out, grabbed a little breakfast, and had my morning cup of coffee I sat to ponder my day. How I wished I could be like the character in the TV show Bewitched today. Then it would not matter if I had a headache, I could just wiggle my nose and I would take care of everything. I could wiggle my nose and my laundry would be done, my house would be clean, bills would be paid etc. How great that would be right? Well I tried it and it didn't work, not that I really expected it to. Yet, we all would like to find the quick fix and the easy answers to our problems wouldn't we? The problem with the quick answer is that usually the underlying problems would still be there and just get worse. If we don't take care of the problems and just look for quick solutions to the effects we are still left with the problems and they will just surface again and again. What it all comes down to is us making the hard choice to discipline ourselves if we want to solve them. The longer we live with the problems and in sin, the longer and harder it is to brake bad habits and achieve solutions to our problems.

If we are going to successfully deal with any problem we must first stop avoiding it or trying to find the simple painless solutions to solving it. A good example of this is the very GROWING problem America is having with being overweight and under fit. Again, I have to count myself included. Now for some of us there can be medical problems that are part of the root problem. This is true in my case. After I had my second child I had to have a hysterectomy. Since that time I have battled weight problems due to hormone problems. Saying that I will also tell you that I have not always done a good job at attacking the problem and staying in control of it. Things go well for awhile and then I get busy and backslide until I again have no choice but to face the problem. By current statistics I know that I am not alone. Now, I am not saying we all should look like the body builders or the twig looking models. Weight control should be looked at as health maintenance. What I am saying is that we would have far less medical problems if we would tackle our obese problems head on. We would not have them at all if we would tackle the problem while it is still a small problem. What is even sadder is to see the statistics of our youth that are facing major health problems because of early obesity.

Do we face our weight problems and tackle them head on smartly? Well some do but most aren't. We ignore the problem, look for miracle cures in a bottle of pills, try the latest diet fad, make short lived resolutions to change, talk a lot about it, and in some cases wait until the problem is so bad that we are willing to risk our lives to find a cure.

Still Gluttony is a sin that Christians often seem to try to ignore. We find it very common to hear sermons or messages given on the evils of smoking and drinking as sins, but gluttony seems to be one of those sins that offends people to talk about it, so few like to preach on it. It becomes one of our "tolerated" sins. The Bible makes it very clear however what God thinks of gluttony. Proverbs 23:20-21 warns us, "Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags." It also speaks of gluttony in Proverbs 28:7 when is says, "He who keeps the law is a discerning son, but a companion of gluttons disgraces his father." Proverbs 23:2 tells us, "put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony."

Gluttony is a sin just like any other sin and God hates sin. When it all comes down to basics, all sin revolves around the root problem of our ability to control ourselves and not give in to temptations. If we are unable to control our habits of what we eat, we are letting our eating control us. If we are not showing self-control here we are also probably allowing lack of control into other areas of our lives too. Just like those pounds that can creep up on us so easily if we do not have a good plan of defense against them, other sins in our lives can do the same thing too.

God is a gracious and loving God who blesses us by providing for us the things that we NEED on this earth. We need to honor God by not letting the sins of greed, temptation, and lack of self-control get the better of us. 2 Peter 1:3-9 tells us, "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins."

How do we honor God by not letting the sins of greed, temptation, and lack of self-control get the better of us? The answer to tackling any problem must first start with God. A good way to start would be facing your sin head on as Psalm 51:1-4 says, "Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge." It is though the strength God can give us by our faith and trust in Him that we can tackle our sins and develop the strength of self-control to resist the temptations that would have us backslide. It is not really self-control as much as it is faith-control. The more we turn control of our lives over to God the stronger our faith-control becomes.

We don't need to look for miracle cures or quick fixes. Our cure is through faith in God alone. We need to make sure that with any plan we are making to handle a problem we are having in our lives, that we include God in our solution if we want to guarantee success. Remember just as it is easy to let our weight slide on the scale without being active and proactive in controlling it with the proper ways of eating and good old fashioned exercise, it is also just as easy to let our faith slide if we to not take active and proactive steps to include it in our lives too. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body." Strive to honor God mentally, physically, emotionally, and faithfully in all you say and do. It is through faith-control that we grow closer to God.

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FaithfulToOne©2007


Solutions

I keep looking for solutions
I know the quick fix I'll never find
It is only through faith-control
I'll find my peace of mind

Some days it's one step forward
Other days it's two steps back
Forgive me when I backslide
And the faith that I still lack

When temptations overwhelm me
And in strength I grow weak
Lord let me feel your presence
It's courage though You that I seek

God I seek your guidance for my sin
For answers I'll search Heaven above
I know my solution will be found
Surrounded in God's gracious love

FaithfulToOne©2007

Forgiveness At The Crossroads Of Love And Anger

Finding Forgiveness

Where do we find forgiveness
What must be offered and must be sought
Forgiveness from pain and agony
It can’t be bartered for or even bought

Where is the place called forgiveness
A place our souls can find a home
Where remorse finds peace and deliverance
With forgiveness each can call their own

Where vengeance and guilt find no place to hide
A place where broken hearts can mend
To find the love that once was lost
A place where friendships never end

Lord light the path that leads us now
To a special forgiveness of our own
For true forgiveness can’t be found
Unless true faith is in the home

Only faith removes these heavy chains
That binds anger tightly to the heart
In prayer we must look to the cross
Where true forgiveness had its start

Our Savior is our loving refuge
And our righteous battle sword
Trust in Him to give you justice
Our power’s in the Living Lord

Forgiveness you must give
If it is to be received
Only then can chains be broken
Only then our souls relieved

FaithfulToOne © 2007


Harvard Women's Health Watch published an article a while back that said that forgiving those who hurt you can improve your mental and physical well being. In the article it gives five reasons that we should forgive someone. We often think that giving forgiveness to someone only benefits the person being forgiven, but that is not true. Harvard Women's Health Watch discusses the five health benefits that were scientifically studied that effect the forgiver:

1. Forgiving reduces stress in the forgiver. Relieving grudges and offering forgiveness can reduce strains that can show up physically in ways such as: Muscle tension, higher blood pressure, and increased sweating.

2. One study found a link between offering forgiveness and a healthier heart. Offering forgiveness showed improved blood pressure, better heart rates, and an eased workload put on the heart.

3. A 2004 study showed that a woman that was able to offer forgiveness to her spouse and show compassion for him was much better and more effective in resolving conflict situations and had stronger relationships. Men do you care to step up to the plate on this too? If God calls the man to be the faithful head of the home this is something he should be modeling for others too.

4. One study on people with chronic back pain found that if they practiced meditation that focused on converting angry feelings into compassionate feelings, they felt less pain and anxiety than those who just received regular care.

5. Forgiveness effects the forgivers bringing them greater happiness. One study revealed that if a person talks about forgiveness during therapy sessions they exhibited greater improvement then those that didn't. When you forgive someone, you are taking responsibility for your own happiness instead of giving it to the person that hurt or betrayed you.

John 20:23 says, "If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven." So what are the dangers of not forgiving someone? Mark 11:25 says, And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Matthew 6:14-15 also warns us, "For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." The Bible tells us if we wish to have our slates wiped clean when we go to the Father and ask for forgiveness, then we must be willing to forgive those that have wronged us too. Ephesians 4:31-32 tells us, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

If you are seeking help with healing and forgiveness I would recommend the daily email messages from the DivorceCare website. I have a link here on my blog. Even if you are not getting a divorce there are some very powerful messages for dealing with the breakdown in relationships. I can with all faith and honesty tell you that I feel the ones I got recently were messages from God. The reason I can say this is that God used them to help me forgive someone in my life.

There was once a man in my life that I loved and cared deeply about. He was the one that broke off our relationship and we parted on very bitter terms. I had made peace with the situation, because I believed it was God's will at the time. I had not wanted to harbor any ill will for the man and prayed often for God to help me forgive him. I thought over time that I had completely forgiven him, but God knew that I still harbored pain for the hurt that was caused by our break up. God knew me better than I knew myself.

After our break up, there was one attempt that was made to reconcile our feelings and move on. I had hoped that we could at least be good friends in faith, but it ended with emails that only vented angry, bitter, hurt, and very negative feelings on both sides. We were both at fault this time. They were emails that did not show how two Christians should be treating one another. After that there was no real contact going on except for the occasional impersonal email being forwarded to each other. Over time I again prayed to find forgiveness and move on, but still I now know there were pains of resentment from some of the hurtful things he had said to me.

During this time we were not talking to one another so I did not know what was going on in his life, but after we parted ways God knew that there was work to be done with both of us. I can tell you that during this time God did a lot to bring me closer to Him and to give me real focus on things I need to accomplish for Him. God also had work to do for the man that had hurt me. Again, God knew him better then he knew himself. He had been harboring anger and bitterness in his heart for a long time. The longer it was there the more it ate away at him until finally in complete frustration he turned to God. As soon as he humbled himself in prayer and turned to God, God got busy. God revealed a lot to this man as he turned things over to God and continued to seek His will and direction. Saying all this God still had more to show him, because even though the man prayed and prayed, he saw no intersession.

What was God waiting for? Only later, would we both understand that God was working behind the scenes and it was God waiting on him. As God began to work in the man's life, he wanted to reach out to me and ask for forgiveness. The fear of rejection and the bitterness he thought I would respond with held him back. Then one day he took a chance and forwarded a touching story to me. He almost didn't email it, but he felt the Holy Spirit strongly urging him on. The email had no message or plea for forgiveness with it, it was just the story. The Holy Spirit was working on the other side too, because the story touched my heart. I sent him an email that thanked him for the story. I did not swing the door wide open, but it was the Holy Spirit leaving a crack in the door. If I had been more faithful at the time, I would have seen what was coming next a whole lot sooner than I did.

As God was preparing the man's heart to ask for forgiveness, God was preparing mine to receive it. I did not realize until later the many times God had tried to reach me, but I was too busy with the many things going on in my life, to hear His messages. Praise God, because he never gave up. God was determined to have His will known. I often find that if you really want to know what God is trying to tell you, that you have to find quiet time and a quiet place with him. When the world invades that quiet time and place, it is like static on a cell phone that keeps you from receiving what the other person is trying to say. God will find many ways to reach us and He will never give up on us. I find direction in God's word, through the scriptures and through devotionals that I read. Several times I have turned to the scriptures, heard a song on the radio, watched a sermon on TV, or read a devotional message that I know was a message from God or a direct answer to a prayer.

I have subscribed to three devotionals that are emailed to me everyday. I also get daily email messages from the DivorceCare website. The DivorceCare program and their daily messages did a lot to help me heal when I was going through my divorce. I still receive them because they are great messages that often inspire my writing. I am sorry to say that due to my very busy schedule at the time, I had fallen behind reading my messages and devotionals. I had gotten some strange feelings over the last two weeks and now see the ways that God was trying to reach me, but I was not focused on Him at the time, because I was too busy. It was so subtle the way I put God on the back burner. I felt so ashamed when I realized I had missed His messages to me. When I realized this I asked for God's forgiveness. To be forgiven we must forgive.

The day the man chose to email me the story, God emailed me a message too. It was from DivorceCare titled, Forgiveness Is A Choice. This is part of that message: "'It's not a matter of how you feel,' says Harold Graham. 'It's not even a matter of how you think. It's a matter of your will. Your will is the part of you that makes your decisions. Either you will or you won't, or you do or you don't. It is that cut and dried. The difficulty is once you make that decision, your emotions will kick in and say, 'Time out, I really don't want to do this.'" The rest of the message gave some very good ways to look at forgiveness. It ended with the prayer "God, I cannot forgive through my own strength. Thank you that there is forgiveness with You. Amen." As I read this I consciously did not make the connection, but I now know that the seed was planted.

I emailed a simple reply to the story the man sent. This email and the work God was doing in this man's heart was finally enough to break down the wall of hurt, anger, and bitterness that he had built. The next day, I was totally caught off guard and was not prepared for the email I received. It was a touching message of how God had been working in this man's life since our last bitter exchange. It was also a sincere heartfelt message asking me to forgive him. After I read it I just sat there because I could not believe my eyes. Could this really be coming from the same man? Was he really being sincere in his message? Could there really be hope in repairing our friendship or even more? Could God really change some one's heart so much?

These are just a few of the questions that rapidly ran through my brain, heart, and soul. Then came the big question! With all honesty, could I really completely forgive him? I wanted to forgive him. I don't ever want to have ill will in my heart for anyone, but wanting to do something and having the will to do it as the DivorceCare message said, are two different things. I wanted to respond immediately but I couldn't. The more I tried, the more I reread the email, the more my doubts held me back. I knew of nothing else to do but pray, turn it over to God, and then wait on God for guidance. I knew what the Bible said about forgiveness, but the doubts that plagued me were very strong. Later that evening I was floored again when I opened up my DivorceCare message for the day. This message was title, Forgiveness Is A Decision You Make. The following is an excerpt from the message, "'Forgiveness is a decision only you can make. 'Forgiveness is a decision you make,' says Doug Easterday. 'I can't do it for you. Even the person who offended you can't. God can't do it for you. You're the only one in the history of the world who can make this choice. Therefore, you have something to say about your own destiny if you choose to forgive.'" As I read the rest of the message I knew God was definitely trying to speak to me.

After I prayed, I knew what I needed to do. I tried several times to write him back but could never find the right words to say, so I prayed harder. I got the same answer each time I prayed, "Free yourself and let him heal, forgive him." Still the words to write would not come. I was so busy and overtired with things going on in my life, I could not think. Finally out of desperation I prayed for God to give me strength. The next thing I knew I was calling the man on the phone, yet in the back of my mind I was hoping he would not answer. I had no idea what I would say and prayed that God would find the words for me. God did, because when he answered God gave us both strength. Our doors swung wide open and we forgave each other.

The next day I discovered something really amazing that I knew I had to share with him. While the man was praying for forgiveness from God and for my forgiveness, he had no idea how many times God was trying to intercede for him. I didn't realize it either until I went back to my email. When I reread the man's letter and the DivorceCare messages I began to wonder what was in the other messages I had been too busy to read. To my astonishment I found out that for eleven days God had been trying to reach me with messages about forgiveness. For eleven days the theme for the DivorceCare messages were on forgiveness. When I stopped to think about that I also realized other ways God had been planting seeds of forgiveness. Seeds I had not even realized until now. So what messages from DivorceCare were still to come over the next few days? I knew that there would still be doubts springing up? Did God have more messages for us? So I went to the DivorceCare site to check. God was not leaving anything to chance. He knew that our new found forgiveness would need reinforcement and nurturing so the messages that were still to come over the next few days were on forgiveness and reconciliation.

At this point I knew the messages I had received (and ones I was going to receive) were not just for me but they were for him too. Little did I know how right I was. When I talked to him that night he was in awe at the way God had been interceding for him even when he still had his doubts. We know God brought us back together so that both of us could forgive and heal. Our faith has taken another leap with this shared experience and we have committed our friendship to God. We will take one day at a time with our friendship and continue to pray that God leads us in our faith. We will seek His direction and His will for our lives. We know that even when forgiveness is honestly given it takes time. It does not mean that you just start over where you were before. We know that God loves and cares for both of us and that He does not want His children to suffer. It feels wonderful when you find forgiveness and break the chains that hold you back. If you are having trouble forgiving someone pray and turn it over to God so that He can heal you too.

FaithfulToOne © 2007